Don’t believe me? Check out the latest situation with “Balloon Boy.”

If you were paying any type of attention to the news today, you’ll know what I’m talking about when I refer to the “Flying Falcon.”

If not, I’ll do a short summary. (You can find more in-depth information if you search for 6-year-old Falcon Heene in your favorite search browser.)

Earlier today in eastern Colorado, Falcon’s parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, told authorities that their son had untethered their mylar balloon and was suspected to be inside of it.

Well, it ends up that the little child wasn’t in the balloon at all. He was hanging out in a box in the attic.

Great family! Also, it turns out that awesome family spent some time on the television show Wife Swap.

This made for some incredibly entertaining television. It also made for some interesting tweets for those who, apparently, have nothing better to do with their time.

According to CNN, the whole world was watching. Al-Jazeera reported on it. Australia reported on it. I guess it could be said that I’m reporting on it too.

I mean, it’s a pretty stupid story if you think about it. What I’m interested in is how viral this became all over social networking sites.

Like I said. What did we do before the Internet?

However, the list I’m about to surrender to you, some of Associated Content’s Strangest Phobias, is something I can’t relate to in the least, let alone pronounce most of the names. Good luck.

1. Zemmiphobia – Fear of…wait for it…the great mole rat.

Yeah, most are naked and crazy looking — those ones usually tiny — but what’s so bad about a big fat rat? Okay, never mind… I think I can understand this one.

2. Anablephobia – Fear of looking up.

Is this for real? Who doesn’t love a blue sky? Suck to be these people.

3. Consecotaleophobia – Fear of chopsticks.

But forks are no fun when it comes to sushi!

4. Geniophobia – Fear of chins.
This one makes me think of the “Ball-Chinians” from Men in Black II (the one that sucked and doesn’t count). I guess big fat butt chins might make sense…but (no pun intended) I don’t get it other than that.

5. Taphephobia Taphophobia – Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.

Duh. This one actually makes sense. Finally.

Thankfully, there are people dedicated to sharing with the world how ridiculous people can be. One Web site, known as The People of Walmart, has truly upped the ante.

This viral Web site is guaranteed to make you laugh…or cry. At least it should (in theory) make you feel better about your life choices.

Developed in August by three friends, the site is designed to showcase ridiculous looking people who shop at Walmart.

“Let’s face it. We’ve all seen people who obviously don’t have mirrors and/or family and friends to lock them in a basement. Of course, these are the folks who strangely seem to congregate at Walmart.

It’s not everywhere that you can shop for milk at 10 a.m. next to a 400-pound mother of six wearing a pink tube top, leopard tights, and hooker heels,” The People of Walmart’s About section reads.

The creators of the site have chosen to only give their initials, AJK, ADK, LDW. Whoever they are, I say that you’ve done a great job. This is a hilarious Web site, and a great outlet for people to laugh at themselves and others.

Understandably this will get some negative feedback. The truth is that humor should be a part of life. Taking life too seriously can really get you down. And… It’s always nice to know that you’re shopping with someone who thought it was a good idea to glue rainbow Trolls to their car.

As the approximately minute-long commercials climax, the audience can’t wait to find out what the advertisement is for. Who that is may surprise you.

It’s for the Church of Scientology.

Well, according to the First Amendment, it has just as much of a right as anyone else to advertise. Still, these Scientology commercials aren’t exactly being welcomed with open arms. People are calling them “alarming” and “creepy.”

GigaOM reported that the Church of Scientology is spending millions of dollars on this advertising campaign.

Known as the “celebrity cult,” or “religion” if you’re nasty, it’s no surprise that this group is trying to decrease the controversy that surrounds them by making themselves look more…normal.

Like many cults, ahem, religions, no one involved can quite understand the inner workings. So, the people who are involved are offended. That makes sense.

It sure is hard to be misunderstood.

There are currently three commercials that have been overtaking many television stations that you can check out on YouTube: “Life”, “You” and The Search.

What do you think? If you were in charge of advertising for a television network, would you pull to have these controversial commercials on your station?

Regardless of whether you agree with Scientology or not, it’s undeniable that it has a right to advertise, and, within reason, to say whatever it wants.

But the party capital is no longer in Florida.

Penn State, a school also known for its party scene and Greek Row, took the title from UF this year. The study was conducted by the Princeton Review. It surveyed 122,000 students for the award, or dishonor, depending on how you look at it.

Most of these surveys, though, are simply kids rooting for their schools to be the top of anything.  Having been to UF during some of the craziest times of the year, like winning a national championship, I can say that Gainesville has lived up to its title as a party town, and UF as a party school.  And there are no students more avid (and rabid) than those of the Gator Nation.

That makes Penn State’s win over UF for the title this year a bit impressive, to say the least.  Penn State has one of the largest stadiums in sports, seating more than 100,000 fans, as well as a pretty detailed history regarding its partying past.  

With many students looking for the best schools to go to, for either social aspects or educational, the Princeton Review ranking gives some indication of what to expect for prospective students looking to the future.

Bousada, of Spain, lied to a U.S. fertility clinic in Los Angeles so they would think she was young enough to receive in-vitro fertilization. She used a sperm donor and a younger woman’s eggs. She told the clinic that she was 55.

Even in retrospect, Bousada felt she was justified in being a mother, seeing as her mother hadn’t died until she was 101.

“I think everyone should become a mother at the right time for them,” she told the British tabloid, News of the World a month after the twins were born.

According to the Huffington Post, Bousada’s dream to be a mother began living in 2005. She sold her house and began treatment to reverse her menopause, which had began about 20 years before.

The hormone treatment lasted three weeks.

Last November, Bousada revealed she was undergoing treatment for stomach cancer. As of today, there has been no cause of death released.

“Maybe things shouldn’t have been done in the way they were done, but that was the only way to achieve the thing I had always dreamed of, and I did it,” Bousada told a reporter.

Yes Bousada, maybe you should have been a little bit more responsible for someone of such a “wise” age.

As children, and definitely teenagers, we had our token excuses. My favorites were “I don’t remember” and “I don’t know.” I wasn’t stupid, I just didn’t want to deal with anyone asking me anything.

After reading about the 31-year-old Boulder, Colo. man who was accused of slashing tires, my excuses were even lamer than before. This man was arrested last Thursday on suspicion of criminal mischief. Oh, and he was carrying a concealed weapon.

According to Daily Camera, the police found him crouched at the tire of an SUV that was leaking air. After further investigation, the man admitted to slashing tires on 46 vehicles. His reasoning? He was irritated about his poor relationship with his mom and radiation from a former nuclear weapons plant affected his judgment. Also, apparently he has been longing to slash tires since he got braces in the 1990s.

I bet you’re pretty jealous you didn’t think of those first.

Ketchup with the thief

I feel a personal attachment to this story as well.

My freshman year of college, I had worked for a particularly well-known southern restaurant for about three years. When a friend came in for dinner, I didn’t charge her for her drink… and subsequently was fired for theft. (It was tea and tea at a restaurant literally costs about a dime. I’m not bitter.)

Former Southern California school board trustee shares my pain. Steve Rocco has been charged with a misdemeanor petty theft for stealing a 14-ounce bottle of ketchup from a local college’s dining area. Because of this, he now has to pay about $200 in fines and stay 100 yards away from the college.

Rocco says it’s a conspiracy. I say it’s ridiculous.